as life goes on….

A few of you have been in since my last blog….curious, concerned, supportive, sincere.  I know it sounded open ended, (by intention), but I hope it didn’t seem negative and pathetic.  I am just hitting a place in my life, a crossroad if you will, and I need to figure out which direction works best for my family and me.  I know 2 things….I love my family, and I love this community of fiber folks that have, over the past 2.5 years, become my new “norm”.  We’ll see what happens…

In the meantime, understand this about me, I love seeing you all and learning from you, and I take every word you give and pass it around (several times) in my head with careful consideration.  If I could make everyone happy, I would.   But it’s hard to do, so for now, it’s about my husband and me, and my kids.

There is so much about the store that is a gift….the space (MY space), the colors, the yarn, the inspiration, the creativity, the education….and mostly….the relationships.  I love knitting and all that, but what I love most is never knowing who will walk through the door each day, or come sit and knit, who will ultimately touch me in some sort of powerful way, and usually, I don’t think many of you are aware of the way you affect me.   I have never connected with people in the same ways I connect with you.  I can remember your names, your families, what you like to knit/crochet, your stories, where you’ve been, where you’re going…..it all seems to make sense to me somehow when I’m here with you.

Meanwhile….there is always this pull….to be somewhere else….a hurried feeling.  I miss being with my kids the way I used to be and want to be.  I want to be at school, meeting their friends, their teachers, other Moms (and Dads).  I want to be part of their extracurricular activities, coaching, teaching, watching, cheering.  Not because I think they need me…..because I WANT to.  And I only have a few more years to fully enjoy this time with them….this time when they want me to be there too.  I am my most excited and passionate when I am spending time with them, watching how they discover new things….learning stuff….growing up.

So as life goes on, I am testing myself.  I am imagining living the one life or the other, comparing the two worlds and trying to decide if managing both things at the level that I feel good about, is within my capability.  I am wondering if I am truly the multi-tasker I once thought I was, and if I even want to be a multi-tasker at all.  Maybe one thing at a time is more my speed.

So while I love and appreciate all your kind words and suggestions, and never stop giving them to me, I will ultimately go with what my gut says when the time comes.  Continue patience with me. I know my hours can be frustrating,  my low inventory at times, my need for constant reminders, and my slow pace of learning or lack of decision making skills…my over -chattiness. 🙂 But I am human and can only do things in my own odd little way of doing things, and know that I am doing what I do in the best way I know how while attempting to keep a desperate grasp on sanity…ha!

I am looking forward to whatever opportunities arise.  If you have dreams of running a yarn store and or even have just passing thoughts about it, come see me, ask me questions, brainstorm.  At this point, I am still open to anything.

With all that being said, several of you sweet little peeps have mentioned to me that you would love to help, or participate in the survival of a yarn store in your world.  If you are serious about this and have specific days/times that you are available or talents that you would like to share, please message me.  The biggest piece of advice I keep receiving and have decided to act on is to let go of this fear of asking for help from people.  Facebook inbox is a great, easy way to communicate, texting, or e-mailing….best is, of course, in person.  I am dedicating a notebook to names, and contact information of people I can call on.

Thanks for reading, and KEEP reading, please.  I am trying to stay in touch better, I have a couple ideas for fun events, classes, yarn bombing, retreats, sales!  Love to all y’all and Happy Holidays!